Ups and Downs

Time to be open and honest.

There are times when I really think that I can make it as a Photographer. There is a captured moment or a photograph that turns out so well that my excitement churns up and my heart races and I tell myself how awesome I am because that one photograph just clicks.

There are other times when this is not the case. There are photos that come out blurry even though I swear to all high powers that the camera was focused on the subject during the shoot. There are times that I start editing photographs and notice all the “mistakes” I made: feet are cut off, random fingers are sticking up everywhere, there’s a slanted line in the back that makes the picture feel off, there are so many and too many details that I did not notice while actually taking the picture and suddenly I feel crushed. I cannot do this. My photographs are horrible. I’ll never be able to make it as a photographer.

There are times when I believe that I can totally make it in Colorado Springs – a city filled with wonderful (and sometimes not so wonderful) people, and also a city that is filled with so many amazing photographers! I want to stand with those people and feel like I am one of them too. Yet there are times when I see the city, how insignificant I am, how my photography skills don’t match up to every other person’s and I worry that I’ll end up failing in this journey. Like I have failed so many times before.

There are times I worry that this is another dead end for me. A dream that went nowhere. There are other times where this journey is the Springboard to so many more adventures and dreams. I do not know which path is the one that I will eventually fall on as a Photographer. I cannot see the future; no one can.

My hope is that in the future I will still enjoy and love Photography. My hope is that no matter where this journey leads me, I stick with it until I find out where I am supposed to land in life.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

~ The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost